A 2012 Exhibit “The war of 2012 came as a surprise to those existing in that time period, despite numerous signs and warnings. Unearthed from the newly discovered ruins at Stone Mountain, were priceless artifacts of those who survived, allowing the human race to continue and evolve into the enlightened society we have today. On display here, is the Journal of a woman named Angela, who crossed thousands of miles after the war, looking for her missing child. This is the first part of her story to be restored. We are currently working on clearing the centuries of debris from the rest of the pages of this unique look into a world most of us have never known.” -Curator, American World Museum, 2777 “My name is Angela White. I am a doctor, a mother, and a survivor of more than one war. Some also call me a witch because I can do things that others cannot but this is no tale of magic. This is my record of how I survived the war of 2012. I keep this to teach future generations that the old ways are the bad ways and this is what happens when lust and greed rule.” Christmas Eve, 2012 I lost my baby in the war and my soul aches ceaselessly. It's a hole, a pain, that I know will never stop. As I dug his tiny grave, the draft trucks swarmed the neighborhood and unlike my fellow citizens, I didn't run. The miscarriage drained my strength and at that moment, death was okay, better than the hurting in my heart. Thankfully, they left me to my grief but the other tenants suffered their wrath for trying to hide and the gunshots echoed like bombs. During the chaos, I kept my solitary vigil over the newly placed earth under my fingers, mind numb. I could hear it but I couldn't believe it. Our world has ended. But I haven't lost everything yet and I comfort myself with that thought as darkness falls over my broken country. My firstborn son is out there in this hell and as soon as I am stronger, I will find him or die trying. Not that I don't feel dead already. My innocent baby, laying in the dirt! He's been there for days and I still fight the urge to dig him up with my bare hands for one last embrace. I'll take a pill instead. 12/25 It's Christmas and I can't stand the sight of the tree and it's merrily wrapped presents but I'm too weak to take it down. I covered it with a sheet instead. Wish someone would do the same for the bodies I can see from the basement windows, where I'm hiding. The rioting is out of control, no soldiers enforcing the martial law, and I can see fires burning all over the city. Yet, I hear no fire trucks, no sirens at all, and the radio is static on every station. Thank god the power is holding. The television that used to feature over four hundred channels now has two, both with haggard looking reporters and the pictures are staggering, unbelievable. Planes have crashed in the city and there was a murder on live TV, a camera crew, and the gunfire in the distance grows louder even as I write this. 100 million Americans dead, 30 million sick or injured, and hundreds of thousands being exposed to toxic levels of fallout. New York and most of the East coast, gone. Florida, Michigan, Arizona, and maybe Texas and California as well. Texas. My boy! The pain is so bad, I can't describe it and I have to believe he survived. Surely the cadets would have been evacuated too? 12/26 It snowed last night, thick, black flakes that look nearly a foot deep at dawn but the warm temperatures melted it in under an hour. I’m glad. Now I can see my baby’s grave again. The weather is becoming more unpredictable, I swear I heard thunder while it snowed ashy sleet, and it's like a bad dream I can't wake from. The looting and fires are spreading out from the city, the pillars of thick, black smoke rising from everywhere I look, and layers of it were so thick this morning, that I could barely see the outline of the sun. The bodies are stacking up and no one has come to take any of them away. There's no sign of authority at all. The two TV stations are still on, the only shell shocked faces I see, and their reports are so ugly! Fallout clouds are headed this way, jails have been overrun, their dark inmates loosened in a world suddenly without law, and the roads are now impassable from all the abandoned cars and wrecks that were not being cleared. The reporters sound almost angry at the people for leaving their cars but I'm sure the Draft made the choice for them. The soldiers were merciless, killing store and farm owners who refused to let them strip supplies and as if taking the unwilling adults wasn't enough, they stole our kids! Even those as young as five were taken in the draft, most from schools, never to be seen again by their families and my heart goes out to those parents even as it burns with loss and worry. If my boy survived, he is now in one of the bunkers with the other 'draftees' and how I plan to get him out, I'm not sure. What I know is that I need help. Will Brady come for me now? The Witch inside says he would if I cll out to him but the fear of my man finding out keeps me silent. Kenny would kill me. 12/28 I think there was an earthquake around dawn but it could have been an explosion. There's been a lot of those. Hard to tell through the screams and gunshots. A large group of people came up the hill from the city today, fleeing, and I wished them luck. It was hard not to throw in with them but my health is fragile right now, the bleeding sill heavy, and I would only be a burden to be left somewhere. It will be at least a month before I can go and my heart hates it. Each hour crawls by and it's a struggle to make my hurting heart stay here. I sleep a lot, pills, and worry all the time. I drew up a good plan, chose where to get the supplies I'll need, but the thought of venturing out into that other world fills me with dread. How will I ever find the courage to start this journey? How will I live with myself if I don't? 12/30 I'm running very low on food and I hate being alone. The city dwellers below scream for help that no one is left to give and it seems like the whole landscape is on fire. Is it like this across the country? The gunshots are a constant sound, backed up by the wind, and I'm living in the basement even though the water has started to gather on the floors. I've never been so scared in my life. It's raining again, though it has little effect on dousing the violence or the flames, and power surges have put me in the dark twice. I remembered to breath when they came back on but it was like a sign to me. Soon, everyone will be in the dark. I have to get ready to be without power. Another group came up the hill today, looking over their shoulders with wild eyes. A lot of them had bandages and I think they were from a hospital. I didn't see who they were fleeing from and was glad. One of the TV channels are gone. The anchor shot himself while I watched. I didn't think it was real at first. The other anchor says he's under attack. I could hear the mob trying to get in and I hope he makes it out. 12/31/12 It's New years eve and the only fireworks I see are sparks from the fires that are blowing in the gusting winds, spreading. There are no celebrations here and my angry mind wonders if the government that abandoned us is having a arty right now. Are they watching all this? How long will they wait to come up and help? I fear it will be a long time. They let this happen, caused it if you believed the rumors, and though the President is dead, I loath the thought of a few years passing and then those responsible will crawl from their holes to rebuild over the bones of those they sacrificed. Right or wrong, I can’t help but hope their survival is in as much jeopardy as my son’s and my own. Surely fate will have a say. All the TV stations were static this morning and I was hit with a wave of loneliness that I escaped by taking a pill. I shouldn't make a habit of that but then, why not? My career as a doctor is over, along with everything else. All that matters is surviving here until I'm stronger. If being stoned helps, so be it. It's not like I have a newborn infant to care for. 1/2/13 The New Year has arrived and with it, death. I thought I was alone in this part of the city, the suburbs deserted around me but there’s a group of people living in the college dorms less than three miles from my den and I think they know I’m here. They drove around my building real slowly, their eyes leery enough to make me think they were watching me before the war. What could they want with me? This power I have has been locked up for years. The war set it free. What was in my past that made them watch me? These college men are lean and hard, and from the sounds I’ve heard, I think they are forcing survivors to join them. Not sure what I’ll do if they actually come for me but the Witch inside doesn’t seem afraid so I guess she has a plan. Wish she’d tell me so I could sleep. 1/4/13 There haven’t been any people coming up the hill for the last couple of days, no signs of the college men, and my heart is finally beating almost normally again for this new world hell. I’ve learn so much already. Taping up my coolers and covering my supplies with towels inside them keeps me in rationed food but I will have to go out soon and even if I weren’t still recovering, I would be terrified. Out there, is an alien world I know nothing about surviving in. The Witch says she’ll teach me but I long for the sound of another human voice that I can trust and I’m thinking of breaking one of Kenny’s hardest rules during our decade together. No other man in my life was okay before, when I had no choice anyway but now, I’m free, I see that and to get to my boy, I’ll need help. Who better than a lifelong Marine and my son’s real father? 1/5/13 It started storming three days ago, acid rain that sent up smoke as it tried to burn though everything it landed on, and it hasn't stopped yet. The streets look a bit cleaner now but the yards are layered in soupy mud and I'm sure the city is flooding. The power surges seem to have stopped but I don't take it as a good sign, think it means there’s no longer anyone trying to reconnect to the grids. I’m so scared for my son, so full of heartache for my baby and for my country. Will any of us survive? Yesterday, I found the courage to explore the dark, battle wrecked apartments around me and discovered a lot of supplies. It’s amazing and horrible that they left so much behind. Blankets, medicine, flashlights. Didn't they think they'd need these things? I found enough to last here for another week or maybe even ten days and I’m grateful to have it. I’m so restless, so lonely! My first thought upon waking was to call Brady and spent the day working on my den instead. I taped up cracks, hung blankets to keep in the warmth, and I also booby trapped the first floor hallway and back door, so I'll have a small warning if someone gets inside. I've only seen two people in the last few days, one of those very confused and sporting burns I think are from radiation exposure. I was glad when he headed down into the city. Those left down there will see his stumbling, tripping walk and vacant, shell shocked eyes and put him out of his misery. The noise outside is dying too. Hardly any engines now, though the screams and gunshots are still common at any hour and I wonder if the whole world is on fire. How far does that layer of smog over the sky stretch? I'm grateful to have a hiding place but worry burns in my heart for my son and the itch to get on the road is driving me crazy. He needs me! 1/8 I had to spend the day laying down, bleeding badly, and I took more pills than I should have. I slept for nearly 18 hours straight and when I woke up, the power was off. The water went a short time later and I have no hopes they'll come back on. The weather's bad, worse than I've ever seen it. The thunder cracks so hard, it rattles the walls and it makes the ground under me vibrate. The lightening is so bright it hurts to look at and when it forks toward the ground, something else explodes and another fire starts. The winds according to my chime, hit 70 mph sometimes and everything not nailed down moves. Things slam and spin, debris bounces off the outside walls and tree limbs fall a lot. There's a car down the street, smashed by a huge branch and I think the drivers still inside it. While I was under the drugs, I dreamed about my boy. He's on the road, trying to get to me. I'm sure of it and my arms ache to hold him. 1/17 The temperatures are below zero. They have been for the last four days and I'm freezing bowls of water to put in my cooler and keep my food longer. I rehydrate only enough for two days at a time and as much as I hate powdered milk, I'm very glad to have it. The sun barely provides light, let alone warmth, and the wind smells of snow. It stings and bites and my heart hurts for those trapped in the ding city below. I'm making my first trip out tomorrow. I have to find some battery operated appliances. And some batteries. Fumes from anything else might get me found. I also need lamps, candles, medicine, and a lot of other little things. I plan to go to a gun shop and then the mall way over in Harrison. Everything I need in one place. I hope. The gun comes first. 1/18 I went out today and I can't sop crying. I found almost everything I needed, the stores in Western Ohio are pretty much intact, but all the dead! There are so many bodies, I couldn't count them all. Men, women, little kids. How the hell did the government let this happen?!!! I called out to Brady last night and I know he heard me. Will he come? 1/21 I've planned another trip out for the bigger things I need. I've packed my supplies, prepared a spot in my garage for the 4x4 I need and all that's left is to get a little stronger so I can go. I told myself not until the first of February but I don't know if I'll wait that long. I didn't see anyone the whole time I was out. No engines, no voices, not even screams anymore. The gunshots are still there but not as often. Still scary. It's so quiet out there. Nothing moves. No cats or dogs, no cars or birds. It's strange, wrong. 1/22 I was found. The teachers from the college came here today with their wounded and yelled for me to help. What was I supposed to do? I went out and did what I could but I was terrified the whole time. Three of the men looked at me strangely, like I was something on the top shelf, just out of reach and when they paid me in water and left, I've never felt so relieved. They left me a c.b., so they can call me when they need a doctor and for some reason, I was very careful not to mention that I'm leaving. I feel bad for that but I'm sure their leader, Warren, would try to stop me. The c.b. stays quiet so far except for the teachers and as I listened to them scour the city for the new people just sighted crossing the purple bridge, I worry. If my boy had escaped, he might be close by now. Will he be in danger from these people? 1/25 The college people came again, bringing more supplies and Warren asked me if I wanted to come live with them so I'd be safe. There was a tone that said step lightly and I was forced to tell him my man is soldier and that he and my son are due home soon. He didn't believe me but that voice inside says he'll be watching for them now. I have to get out of here without being followed. Warrens eyes said he wants me and that my men will be killed upon sight. Their numbers are growing despite the silence of the dead city below and I suspect it's fear as much as safety that is drawing survivors to them. Warren's eyes tell me he's a hard case and that the gentle fingers he's handling me with won't last long once I'm in his grasp. I once heard that surviving meant taking action despite crippling fear or injuries and the understanding that life now hangs in the balance. I couldn't understand it then but I do now. I'm leaving come dawn. 1/26 It's still dark outside and I want to write this in case I don't make it. I dreamed Brady came for me, saved me, and that we found our boy alive and well, were able to live happily ever after. What a world that would be. Even if I make it out and get to my son, Kenny will not just let my son go. I'll have to fight for him. And I will! I loved you both with everything I am. |
